20 years of not knowing God.
20 years of Living without God.
20 years without going to church.
20 years of mis-understanding christianity.
20 years of not liking christians.
I was friends with Christians but I would ask them stuff that they could never really answer. And that was.. “Why are you a christian.” Simple question.. they would think about it. The obvious answer was.. “because I believe in Jesus.” or sometimes they wouldnt even have an answer. I would tell them “good answer.” – But why do you believe in Jesus? And I would explain my thinking to them. = “If I was born in the middle east I would be a Muslim. If I was born in China I would most likely be a Buddhist! The only reason I can say I am a Christian is because I was born in america and that is what I was told. ” The truth was that no one ever told me what the gospel was. I had no idea what the gospel was. People told me that Jesus died for me.. but why? why did He have to die. None of it made sense and no one could answer that question for me..”what is the gospel?” “Why did Jesus die for my sins?” I didnt understand any of it. I told them that I planned on reading the Quran. I planned on reading about Taoism. And I did, I even read books on being psychic. I was looking for truth, because No One I ever knew Walked in Truth. I started getting tormented by demons. I was going through a lot. And for the first time in my life, I met some people who actually knew Jesus. He wasnt a fun story, he wasnt a myth to them.
When I was sick they laid hands on me, when I had questions they were there. During a time when the darkest spirits followed me, when all I felt was hate, anger…etc. They were the only ones there for me during my darkest time (God knew what He was doing). To me they were just my boys. I knew them before they were saved. It took me about 4 or 5 months before I realized that they were actually serious. Before I realized what ever they believed in was actually real. One night something crazy was happening, I tried to go to them like I always did when I needed help but they werent there.. I ended up on the street by myself. Asking God to save me, one of my most desperate moments. And He did. He showed up and it was un-deniable to me.
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